11 August, 2010

What About the Irish and Italians

I grew up not far from Philadelphia, PA, USA.

One thing for sure is that often in or close to a major city, there is a pretty good chance there might be little ethnic pockets.

Which is absolutely great for take-out food.

Of course one becomes aware of these differences at an early age, but there was one thing that just baffled me.

Every time there would be some major issue that was being discussed on the news there was talk of the Polls deciding the outcome. For the life of me, I couldn't imagine why the Polls made all the decisions.

Were the Polish better able to make important decisions than Italians, Germans, Irish or any other ethnic group?

Perhaps there was something in the potato pancakes or pierogies that provided them with better cognitive powers.

But I digress...

When I first started this blog all of two months ago today, I put a poll in the side bar to get an idea who the readers here might be.

I asked:

What is your role?

I was surprised that over 90% of those who responded were men. Actually, I kind of expected more women would stop by the blog.

Since there is such a high percentage of male readers here, I just might take advantage of the situation and post a dirty joke or three every once in a while.

Or, maybe get into some truly manly discussions about drinking beer and eating deviled eggs and being able to clear a room.

Back on topic.

Of the 90% men who responded, 70% are spankee and 21% both spanker and spankee.

Now we all know the wonderful saying... Figures lie and liars figure...

But my curiosity is not yet satisfied so I've added a new poll on the side bar asking for relationship status.

Now I know what you're thinking.

You're German or Italian and I should really be asking the Polish, but what the heck.

This new poll will only be open for about 10 days so look over on the side and click away.

Vote early, vote often.

10 August, 2010

Consensual Spanking Day

From the Free Gallery at http://posercpart.com/
This past Sunday the Spanking Blog World celebrated Consensual Spanking Day but for the life of me, I couldn't find an appropriate card.

Nope, I didn't really look.

Nope, I didn't get or give a consensual spanking either.

Probably the unique thing, our spanking adventures could probably best be described as Consensual Non-Consent.

In other words, we've agreed that spankings do not require consent at the time of the spanking. It's kinda like one of those pre-approved credit card or mortgage deals.

Now that I think about, that's probably true for just about any household where a form of Domestic Discipline is practiced.

From the Free Gallery at http://posercpart.com/

In fact, it's probably the only way it could work the way many of us wish it to work.

There's that consent factor, giving over control of just what is considered a due cause for a spanking.

Probably, that's the most exciting part, knowing that choice is in the hands of My Fine Lady.

09 August, 2010

Hard Limits

24" Black Knight and The Howler
For most if not all spankos, there always seems to be a device or implement that manages to be the one item that is the jaw-dropper.

You know, the one that the thought of having it used on your vulnerable bare bottom makes your heart skip a little beat or manages to just get your attention in a way that no other does.

Sometimes it might be just the sight of the feared device. Other times the device may have a particular unique noise. 

Previously, I blogged about some of our new additions to the pain drawer from Cane-iac, note the key word here... "some".

So far I mentioned the Wicked Loopy Howler Thingy and the Sizzler Paddle, The Black Knight Sr and the surprising little Timothy Acrylic purse paddle...
"Timothy" Purse Paddle

The Howler and Sizzler


However, there were others, not the least of which was that we finally added a 32" Cane to our ever growing collection.

Our particular choice was the Master's Choice Sr 32" Cane and also a 28" version.
Other than a quick little 'test drive' neither cane has been used yet for a serious punishment and that is where there will get their real use.

Master's Choice 28" & 32"
Now at first glance you might come to the natural assumption that the 4" difference isn't really that much between these two canes.

Well, you would be wrong.

What's surprising is that when flailed wildly through the air, they make a naturally similar yet completely different sound. The 28" cane manages to make an impressive 'swoosh' that is sure to be attention getting.

On the other hand 32" cane for my money manages to somehow add a profoundly different 'Oh Shit!' tone to the swoosh that just isn't within the capability of it's shorter sibling.

If you've ever felt the cutting sting of a properly wielded cane, well I don't need to explain it to you.

But back to the post title of Hard Limits.

Many suggest that the cane is their Hard Limit, others swear they will never again lay under a wood paddle and yet others have sworn off such things as rubber paddles or Lexan.

It's not that I haven't considered the wisdom of such choices...

In my particular case with My Fine Lady I've come to trust in her judgement and ability to use whatever implement she decides in whatever fashion she chooses.

Sure, implements can be wicked and they can be scary... However in my particular case it's a matter of the artist, and not the brush.

08 August, 2010

Punishments Hurt

Within the broad and diverse community of people who practice a form of Domestic Discipline there appears to be endless varieties of ways which couples choose to deal with punishments.

Many seem to have unique opinions on punishments and how they should be administered and the opinions seem to run strong between two basic camps.

There are those that believe in a spanking relationship where one (or both) partners have consented to being held responsible for things like attitude, respect and responsibility the punishment can't be a spanking. For others, nothing less than a very long, hard and painful spanking can be considered.

I reside in the later camp.

For some the logic seems to be if he/she likes being spanked, they can't possibly be punished with a spanking.

On the surface this sounds logical, however it's an opinion that I just don't share. To me spanking as a punishment, isn't the actual punishment... Bear with me on this one and I'll try to explain.

From my perspective the actual punishment is knowing that you have, in one way or another failed and in doing so you've let yourself down. Even worse, the painful realization that you've let your partner down and that is actually the most painful aspect. Not the actual spanking.

In my particular case if I should happen to find myself in the unfortunate position of being given a painful punishment spanking... Well, I want it to stop.

Let's face it, we're not talking yummy teasing caresses here. We're talking hard heavy rapid smacks with a hairbrush, paddle or other nasty tool designed to deliver pain and it hurts a whole lot.

Somewhere during the cathartic event of a punishment spanking my mind will wander and I'll consider how much hurt I may have caused My Fine Lady. When that inevitable moment arrives, that's when I do want the spanking to hurt as much as it possibly can.

Naturally as can be expected, My Fine Lady does not disappoint.

When the punishment spanking is finished,  there is an incredibly powerful transitional moment. Seconds before I was digging my fingernails deep into the bed frame and chewing on a large portion of pillow and then suddenly I'm in her loving arms being told that I'm forgiven.

That incredible moment of blessed forgiveness just doesn't come any better way.


04 August, 2010

BDSM and Spanking

One of the Discussion Forums I've been reading on and off for quite some time is Spanking Classics.

Many times the threads that pop up on the various discussion forums can tend to be repetitive.

There can be some basic themes that show up on a regular basis and in spite of the repetitive nature they still manage to get my attention because there is usually someone new, or for that matter someone old who has a new take... a new perspective on something that I might find interesting.

The common topics are usually along the lines of:

  • How do I find a spanking partner?
  • How do I tell my partner I want to spank/be spanked?
  • What's your favorite implement?
  • What implement do you fear most?
  • How did you discover you were a spanko?

There are of course other topics that come up but the above list seems to cover the most common topics that recycle.

Then there's the other one:

Is Spanking BDSM?

Now this question seems to often generate some very well thought out responses and sometimes some very personal and also very controversial response.

I suppose it always bothers me just a bit that there seems to be such a need to place labels on our individual activities. Personally, I suppose every individual couple or even individual should be able to apply whatever label they want to the activities they partake in.

If so-and-so does, or for that matter doesn't want to consider their personal activity under the broad umbrella of BDSM... Then who the gosh darn heck am I to say they are wrong?

In some of the most recent Spanking/BDSM discussion, there was mention that some "mainstream" BDSM types actually view we spankos as being extremists if not some sort of 'edge players'. It had never occurred to me, but for the simple fact that many of us don't believe in the use of 'Safe Words'.

Well, then I guess I just could be an edge player, but I don't see any pony activites in our immediate future.

Perhaps what may be the difference here, unlike the sometimes 'Poly' nature of the BDSM community as a whole where people sometimes play with others who may very well be virtual strangers.

I think many of us who are more exclusive 'spankos'... tend to be exclusive!

Having that better familiarity, Communication and Trust in our particular case simply trancends the basics of Safe Sane and Consensual.

For the memorable past and the foreseeable future my spanking activity assuredly is with only one person, My Fine Lady.

02 August, 2010

Where it Started (Part 3)

I mentioned in Part 2 that there really isn't a mommy thing in my brain that drove me to being a spanko. However, there is, or was still sort of a connection.

The last time I brought this up was on my other blog and for all practical proposes it sort of brought to a screeching halt much of what I was writing there.

Pretty much what it came down to was that the whole concept of my desires as a spanko sort of derailed the original intent or purpose of that blog.

Some of you know (because I told you), others of you may have guessed and perhaps some of you never had a clue but this is not my first or only blog.

My other blog was aimed at mainly M/f Spanking, in particular within the concept of loving Domestic Discipline.

It's not that I've abandoned that blog. But more the fact that as we pursue our unique form of  Mutual DD and the more aware I become as a spankee, I'm more willing to expound on my thoughts along the lines of being over the knee of My Fine Lady.

Well, I was having a difficult time writing for my other blog and staying on topics along that original theme of Domestic Discipline so here I am. In my other blog I often refer to My Fine Lady as Minx. Since much of this post came from that blog, again some of you may make that connection.

Early in the days when I began that blog about four years or so ago, I posted my history and how I initially became interested in adult spanking, after a short while I removed it. Basically, I didn’t want anyone thinking that just because I’m a kinky bastard I thought up some plan to legitimize my beliefs.

Backpedal a few decades and my journey into the world of kink and fetish could possibly be seeded in my experience growing up in the 50s and 60s.

Not unlike many of those times, as a child I would often find myself with my face being held to the cold black and yellow bathroom tile floor with my ass propped high in the air.

Naturally, while my ass was being filled with warm soapy water. Squirming and fighting just got me the extra discomfort and humiliation as my bare ass was spanked for squirming.

No, it was not and should not be considered abuse. That doesn’t mean that I condone young boys being given enemas and spanked on the bare ass by their MILF mothers today, times have changed.

However during the 50s and 60s it was very common for mothers to give their little boys (or girls) an enema for many reasons. Everything from tummy-ache to being moody qualified for, if not required a purgative enema.

“Oh, Myrtle… If that’s the way he’s acting you better give him an enema. Everyone does need one now and again so it certainly can’t hurt”.

One thing for sure in those days, whenever you claimed in the morning that you were too sick to go to school you could count on getting a good inner ass cleaning with lots of warm water and ivory soap.

The other possible outcome was a visit from the doctor and then you would likely get a nice sore bump in the buttocks from the doctors over sized penicillin injection. Doctors weren’t afraid of overusing antibiotics in those days you know.

Worse case which was more likely, you would get an oversize warm soapy enema and then the doctor would come to the house (they did that in those days) and give you a painful injection in your poor overworked butt.

It’s just the way things were done in those days.

Of course then I had to play and experiment on my own, and actually often did. Yes, I’ll admit it; Mr. Happy and his needs became a big part of the action. You see men have a prostate and often any form of anal stimulation gives a little boost to… well you know. I never remembered or thought about the spank that would land on my ass for fighting the enema, I only thought about the enema.

I suppose this explains to a degree, how the inner desire of being dominated and forced to take an enema by a woman was always in the back of my mind. Whenever I felt comfortable enough to mention it with a potential partner, the usual response was that the idea was at least distasteful if not outright "Oh, that's disgusting".

Besides, it's not something that's easy to bring up, it’s just not one of those things that you can use to start a conversation. In fact he topic usually ended conversation not being the sort of thing you should mention to people you meet in a convenience store, at a block party or at the typical church social. Hence my reluctance to be open about it and also why I initially pulled the information from my blog.

Fast forward a few decades from my childhood, I had spent 20 years married to a woman who at first claimed to want to experiment with things of kink to add some spice. That turned out to be nothing more than a lie. My hopes of ever being open and active with her with that part of my warped persona were dashed by comments like "I don't know how people could do that..." whenever I hinted at things.

Ok, so why did I crave having a woman give me enemas? Particularly I craved being told I was getting an enema if I wanted it or not. In fact, especially if I didn’t want one.

It just didn't make sense since I had been told by people that claim to know these things that I was an obvious Dominant. Well, it could be that I can ‘Switch’ and just might enjoy every aspect of such a potential flexible D/s experience.

After being separated, I made up my mind that I would never again settle for anyone who wasn’t willing to explore whatever mutual fantasies we had without being judgmental. The obvious conclusion was that my childhood memories had awakened my apparent need to be a submissive.

Several girlfriends later, one night I was talking on the phone with the latest potential victim of my need for sexual relief. The thing was, I was doing laundry. You see at that time I was Mr. Mom and doing laundry was just one of those chores that I had a tendency to put off.

The incentive that I gave myself to do laundry was simple; I would permit myself a martini per load of wash. After several loads of wash it was not uncommon for me to wake up and wonder what happened to my clothes. Not an uncommon side effect of martini consumption I understand, but I digress.

Well, feeling loose tongued and not really giving a shit if I scared her off…

I dropped the big one and told her that I had always had a kinky interest in being given enemas. I fully expected to hear a click on the other end of the phone line. Nope, she told me it was one of her favorite activities. What a surprise considering she was an RN. Whoever would have thought that an RN would be kinky.

Let the games begin!

The RN adventure was certainly interesting. Neither one of us were really sure if we were Dom, sub or Switch so we played every which way we could trying to find out with "Screw the Roses, Send Me The Thorns".

One of the many other activities that we explored was spanking. That’s when I found out that I really do enjoy having a woman laying over my lap getting a good sound spanking.

That was also when I found out that I don’t 'enjoy' getting a spanking quite as much as I enjoying giving one. Spankings actually hurt and if done properly can hurt quite a lot.

Well, maybe I can enjoy that too.

There’s that certain aspect about getting a spanking that always comes up just after going over a knee. When the first few smacks land then all of a sudden the brain feels the sting, instantly you wonder why you ever thought you enjoyed being spanked.

Yet time and time again, since that spanko wake-up call, I forget and think I love being spanked at least until it happens again.

It's all so confusing.

Of course the fact that my fine lady has gotten very good at spanking might have something to do with the fact. She says she learned from the best
In any event once I had this new adult spanking experience it became all I could think of and I wanted more.

Naturally I started searching the Internet for as much spanking information as I could find. When I found ‘Fondly and Firmly” I had an epiphany. Immediately I realized that the reason my marriage had failed was because I never gave X the thing that she needed most, a real good spanking.

Having discovered the world of Domestic Discipline I joined a few groups and forums and before long I was IMing with a woman who lived a few states away who had the same sort of desires. We spent hours on the phone and became pretty close and shared our thoughts on how Domestic Discipline could or should work.

Just as with the RN she shared a kinky enema thing so naturally conversation became even easier for us. With her help I decided to put my DD thoughts to the Internet and created my “How to Tell Your Thick Headed Hubby” blog post.

She was an accomplished blogger at the time and encouraged me. Since, she has had some very difficult times and her blog is long gone.

The primary direction for the essay was ‘for a guy, from a guy’ since it appeared from many of the DD and general spanking forum posts that I read, women found it difficult to vocalize to their boyfriends or husbands just what it was that they wanted.

My blog post began to get some attention and it wasn’t long before I received a few comments from women who said that they printed out my “Thick Headed Hubby” essay and it indeed made it easier to convince their husbands just what they really wanted and needed.

Going forward I don't think I'll let that other blog just fade away. I'll probably edit out the blogs of my my being spanked and keep things like that here in this blog. I think I just might go back and rewrite some of the posts there to reflect ways in which my views may have changed over the past few years.

Those of us who have had our spanking desires awakened during periods of being single, know that it just always seems the people you connect with aren't within a five mile radius. In fact, they are almost always hundreds if not thousands of miles away. That was of course the case with My Fine Lady and myself.

We spent hours IMing and talked often on the phone as these things often seem to progress. Since we were on opposite sides of the country we never had any idea that we would ever meet in real life. When you have a long distant relationship like this, you tend to be very open and talk about all sorts of things that you might hesitate to talk about in person on a first date.

My Belt
Circumstances brought My Fine Lady to the East coast and then all of a sudden she was no longer thousands of miles away, just a few hundred.

We met.

Now when we happen to meet someone and if the subject should ever happen to come up I don't know what we might actually say. Somehow mentioning that within a few minutes of meeting for the first time in person she was laying over my lap getting her bare ass firmly spanked with a hairbrush might tend to be a conversation stopper.

It was actually a while before I received my first serious and effective painful spanking from Minx. She didn't adapt right away to being able to spank effectively, but every time she has spanked me it has been shall we say... more and more effective.

Now, it's an established fact that when My Fine Lady has decided that I need a good punishment spanking it's indeed a very serious matter and she definitely will be sure that I have reminders that will last several days.

There is no turning back now.

Where it Started (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this "Where it Started" series you may somehow have been lead to believe that  my spanking desires were somehow awakened by the sight of the TV character Betty Draper. Well, both yes and not at all, but that was certainly a nice diversion wasn't it?

Actually, I've long been attracted to that sort of housewife in a cocktail dress look. So, I've been fascinated with the whole Donna Reed or June Cleaver look for quite some time.

In other words, a woman who is very typical in the every day world but leaves much to the imagination as to the sorts of things can happen once the bedroom door closes.

Oh, and don't forget June Lockhart who played the ever sensible mom on Lassie. She also played the same sort of role in the strange Sci-Fi TV show Lost in Space.

For some reason especially Lost in Space.

That's probably because of Angela Cartwright who also was in that show. Growing up I had a crush on Angela Cartwright and I can just sort of imagine being spanked by Angela Cartwright while being held in position by June Lockhart and probably the robot too.

Now is that strange or what?

Now that I think about it, Angela Cartwright as a young girl had a spanking scene in the TV show "The Danny Thomas Show". Can't help but wonder if with that experience she too might be a spanko.
But back on topic.

I imagine you get my drift and I've talked about it before. Submitting to the whims of a traditional Dominatrix who happens to be holding a bull whip and intends to place my pride and joy into the confines of some sort of painful constricting little package while sticking a baseball bat size butt plug in my ass just isn't my thing.

Well, there are curiosities, but they're not really the sorts of things I can think of at this stage in my life.

Not that I can say anything against those who do find a fascination with that sort of thing, but it's just not what drives me at this particular time.

No, in my strange fantasies I don't picture myself as a little boy being spanked by a mommy figure either. My fine lady is just that, not my fine mommy.

Well, there is sort of a mommy aspect to the dark thoughts from the back of my brain, but that's another tangent that I'll talk about in Part 3.


01 August, 2010

Where it Started (Part 1)

Thinking back to my youth, there were very few times that I was spanked.  Actually never in public, never beyond a smack or two and never in an abusive fashion.

None the less there were occasions that I remember that brought both fear and curiosity when hearing about spankings that neighborhood kids or classmates got at home for various reasons.

Heading off to a Cub Scout Pack Meeting we would see in person those fathers or especially mothers that we knew from the grapevine were no nonsense spankers.

No, none of them were dressed in leather and none of them wore just skimpy bras with openings for their nipples to poke through. In fact none of them carried riding crops and they wore far more than just thongs.

They wore cocktail dresses.

Their hair was done nicely and perhaps they wore a not too flashy necklace and earrings that would always properly match their less than outlandish heels and conservative, yet contemporary hats.

Proper occasions or weather likely had them wearing perfectly clean white gloves in a very feminie manor.

In any event...

I've become a fan of the TV show Mad Men broadcast on the AMC network. The character Betty Draper comes to mind. In the show, Betty Draper becomes furious with her husband Don because he refuses to spank their children when they're naughty. Actually, Don probably knows that Betty and not himself, would be the perfect spanker.

As events have unfolded in the Season 4 premiere last Sunday, well... Let's just say that good o' Donald Draper may be one of us as he is now enjoying the services of a professional who slaps him during his all important and frequent adult activities.

Now that I think about it, the character Peggy Olson has now matured so to speak, as she is now actually smoking cigarettes.

One has to wonder, perhaps she will follow in the steps of the more sex-edged character Joan Harris (her mentor-ess) and who knows...

Maybe in future episodes Don Draper might very well be laying over the knee of the once very plain and vanilla Girl Scout-ish Peggy.

I'm willing to bet in the great spanko world out there, many men and probably even some spanko women would love to climb over any of their knees.

But I digress...

In my particular life, my spanko urges if actually generated by events of my youth lay dormant for decades.

There was a strange series of events that brought them to the surface and probably like many, that unique set of circumstances that woke them up never could have been anticipated.