Pain Isn't Always From The Paddle

Tina at Die starke Frau mentioned in a recent post that from her perspective, she didn't care for the concept of cuckolding. Well to each their own and I posted a comment how I didn't see it as really useful from a DD perspective. Basically, I believe once the spanking is over, the humiliation should be over and that may be mutually exclusive when there is a cuckold husband. She made a comment that she may blog about humiliation and I look forward to reading her perspctive on it.

Here's mine, it starts with the text I left on her blog.

The unique form of DD that we practice (Mutual DD) like all forms of DD, does have an element of humiliation. For example, the whole concept of willingly submitting to a spanking is a humbling act, ergo humiliation.


However, for me the most important part of DD is the aftercare. Where the spanking and any and all of the other things that may have been used that add humiliation, break down walls and barriers and offer the spanker the opportunity to bring things to the surface that must be dealt with. Or, even when the spanking just lets things be talked about, all accomplished not just with the aid of the painful spanking, but also with humiliation.

Once the spanking is over one of the most important jobs of the spanker from my perspective is to rebuild the spankee’s ego, their cared-for position in the relationship and also rejuvenate their persona that the rest of the world sees. The tenderness of aftercare, the forgiveness, the cleaning of the slate so to speak are all items that bring back and reconstruct the spankee.

Without a doubt, the most intense pain that can be administered isn’t from the paddle, nor the strap or the cane. The most intense pain that can be administered to the submissive husband in a DD relationship is certainly humiliation.

Actually, humiliation is possibly the most frequently used tool while a true punishment is administered.

The mere suggestion that he has been something less than the man that he could and should be, can be extremely powerful.

What are some other humiliations? Well, the implement and the position are the most obvious possibilities. However, each disciplinarian learns not just what provides sting to the buttocks but also those things that can sting the brain. After all, it's actually the brain that is spanked, the butt is merely a very effective conduit to the brain.

Some aspects of a spanking are more humiliating than others. Being put in the diaper position or even like I recently posted... being given an enema are just a few of the most obvious aspects of humiliation that can be incorporated in typical DD punishment activities.

Being ordered into the corner can make the tallest man feel small.

Ordered to wear humiliating clothing, which can vary of course from couple to couple. Perhaps for one couple it may be panties on the man. For others, it may be a complete outfit or even just diapers.

Actually, simply being ordered to “Drop ‘em” at her command and the accompanying embarrassment of her seeing Mr. Happy at full staff when he won’t be used for his joyous intended purpose.

Complying with her order and laying across her lap with one’s ass presented for her use can be very humbling at the very least, and for some be the height of humiliation.

Various positions that offer nothing in protection and everything in vulnerability for her use, all of these things help her break down the walls that men typically build to protect their weaker sides from being viewed by the rest of the world.

I’m of the opinion that the most effective female disciplinarians use these and other techniques to knock a man down a notch and perhaps put him in his place. Now the more femdom-ish ladies may use these or other techniques of humiliations to keep her man in a lower and completely dominated place.

However in many households once a man is reduced with these techniques, the woman instead of destroying his foundation actually just knocks down the crooked walls that stood contrary to her needs. The ones that did not suit her desires in her man. Then, with aftercare she sets new lines and then rebuilds him back the man she wants and knows he can be. Giving him forgiveness and setting him and the relationship back to base course.

Basically, as I see it, humiliation stops when the spanking stops. If it doesn't, perhaps the spanking shouldn't have ended so soon.

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom..."

This is a re-post of a spanking I blogged about on my other blog a quite while ago:

Being the typical non-typical DD couple things can get interesting around here sometimes. Of course we have the same problem that a lot of couples have, an almost perpetual lack of privacy. We might have changed that slightly, time will tell…

Today was the first day of a new schedule where I think I’ve managed to get things coordinated so that we actually have at least an hour and perhaps as much as two hours or privacy per day.

Well, we did have some privacy over the weekend and it did give me the chance to give My Fine Lady a pretty good spanking. She has needed a spanking for a while. Not so much for anything other than stress relief and just to reinforcing discipline a bit, she has been very good.

My Fine Lady also had the chance to try to spank me, but that didn’t go too well being the wimp that I am. I chickened out part way into it and got away from her which of course pissed her off a bit. It’s not easy for her to spank me; it’s just not her thing. My Fine Lady is much more comfortable being the spankee but she does try to cater to my cravings on occasion and if the need should happen to arrive, she has no problem at all giving me a punishment spanking. However, when I need a stress relief spanking, it’s not at all easy for her. There’s that role reversal thing, but also I’m much harder to hold in position when I start squirming and kicking as happened over the weekend.

Well, today our private time came to fruition and I had every intention to rebuild her leather butt. Since it’s been a while since she’s had regular spankings the spanking she got over the weekend was difficult for her re-virigned bottom. Being the caring HOH that I am, I planned on putting some regularity back into her spankings so it would be easier for her to take a good long spanking. You spankos out there know what I mean, if it’s been a while, it takes a while before you build up ‘leather butt’ tolerance again. Well, that was not to be.

I walked into the house and asked her if she was ready to get her leather butt rebuilt… however she said, “No, it’s your turn”.

Well, I hadn’t been too cooperative when she tried to spank me over the weekend so I suppose I knew it was coming so of course I complied. She told me to go pick out some implements…. Don’t you hate that?

3/4" Oak Hairbrush Paddle

I opened the toy drawer and looked, I knew that I would not be able to get away with a wimpy selection so I didn't try. I picked out the wicked hairbrush paddle, the sawed off bamboo bath brush, the Reb's OTK paddle with holes and the The London Tanners Domestic Discipline Strap. She approved, I knew I didn’t have much of a choice but to pick the ones that I hate since I hadn’t been cooperative for the last spanking.

My Fine Lady gave the quick simple order… “Drop ‘em”. I did.

London Tanner DD Strap

There’s something that’s both intimidating and exciting about standing there with your pants at your ankle while your lady is picking up a paddle.

Naturally, Mr. Happy was doing his best to embarrass me standing at full attention which of course Minx made some comments along the lines of ‘looks like he wants a spanking too’ and made some light contact.

When I first climbed over her knee, Mr. Happy was making things a little uncomfortable before he was properly positioned, she started with her bare hand... which felt, very comfortable and relaxing. Of course her bare hand didn’t last long enough, the sting had been light and actually somewhat comforting. Mr, Happy didn't stay around to find out though.

Reb's 14" OTK Paddle

When I’m on the receiving end once the spanking starts I usually can’t tell what I’m being spanked with unless she tells me. She did a very good job of keeping me just slightly beyond the edge of what I can tolerate. You know, any lighter and you can take it, but just hard enough to keep you from ignoring it while you squirm and stress and have to work at staying in place.

Then of course it had to happen, time to pay for not cooperating for the last spanking. Those hard heavy spanks that make you dig your fingernails into your palms and stress to stay in place.

I believe that the next round was from the Rebs OTK paddle and she kept me right on the edge with it. Then a few rounds with the DD strap and and paddles again. It was really getting hard to stay in place but I didn't want any more hard heavy full swing ones.

In between rounds of implements My Fine Lady rubs and comforts for a few seconds (always too few) which of course is wonderful. Then after a particularly hard to take round with what I think was the Bamboo Bath Brush she was rubbing my bottom and next I felt her spread my cheeks. I felt something slide into my ass and I realized what she was doing, she was giving me a Fleet enema.

“There, now you’ll be able to enjoy your sore bottom on a nice hard seat for a while”

Bamboo Bath Brush

She said it with a little bit of a happy accomplished tone. That wasn’t the end of it of course, but it was the end of the unbearable pain from that point on as I had another thing to keep my mind occupied. The combination of the spanking that so far I had endured along with that bit of anal stimulation and caress just made the sting disapear and all of me was enjoying the continued contact, even the intense contact from the brush.

She continued to spank and she spanked hard but from that point on ,I just wanted more. She asked me a couple of times if I had to go yet, I could have but I didn't want to, I wanted to feel more and put off going to expell as long as I could. The combination of holding as long as I possibly could combined with the spanking apparently managed to get the fluid 'higher' as the enema seemed to be even more effective than those little ass bombs tend to be.

The seat really wasn't much more uncomfortable than usual, until I tried to stand up. Freshly spanked bottoms apparenlty act like fly paper to the seat.

Odd isn't it.

Now, I’m probably more relaxed than I’ve been in a while, maybe tomorrow will be her turn.

Good Question v 2.0

Hisboss asked what I consider another great question on the Fetlife F/M Spanking group page, here it is:

I have another question. How many guys try to "control" the spanking? Not sure how to say it...Like, saying that's not hard enough or you have a "candy arm" etc...I guess I am trying to say "top from the bottom"? It happened a few times in my experience with the hubby but I figured it out pretty fast. Now I don't let him have the opportunity to top at all, I "ambush" him so there is no time to think about it. I'd be interested in your viewpoints on this one.

My response:

I suppose to a certain extent when an activity is initiated by someone being submissive who wants to be dominated, that can be considered topping from the bottom.

However...

Once the activity begins what I think happens with most F/M couples the sub/bottom/male wants to have control taken away... Unconditionally.

I for example want complete control taken by my fine lady as far as her spanking me, it's all up to her and I don't remember which one of us started the ball rolling in this direction, but it can not be stopped.

• She chooses if and when I'm spanked... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses how and where I'm going to be spanked... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses what I'm spanked with... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses how long the spanking will last... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses if I'll still feel the spanking all day or all week... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses if it will be one spanking or multiple spankings... I have no say in the matter.
• She chooses what the rules are and what earns a spanking... I have no say in the matter.

The thing is we are beyond safe words, there are none. If I have a health issue, perhaps I start to have trouble breathing or a bed rail is digging in my side I can stop the spanking just long enough for the issue to be resolved. I can't stop, reschedule or worse refuse a spanking. Any attempt at any of these things will earn me either extra or extra severe.

I suppose the big difference with many DDish or FLR relationships compared to other more typical activities that may be "run of the mill BDSMish" activities is that after the initial get the learning curve out of the way... we want consent to go out the window.

The well known mantra of the BDSM community is Safe, Sane and Consensual. Perhaps what’s different with those of who get involved in DDish things however is that many of us appear to want what is better called consensual non-consent.

So, it's not your typical 'scene' and not your typical lifestyle.

Yeah, it becomes a 24/7 thing in a lot of respects and also in some respects it can become less active the further one gets into the activity.

There becomes a point where one knows without a doubt that certain things will guarantee a sore bottom.

There becomes a point where one knows without a doubt that certain things will guarantee a very, very sore bottom.

There becomes a point where one knows that the consequence becomes so effective that one learns to behave better.

There becomes a point where one will brat to get consequences as a matter of getting attention because they may feel there hasn't been enough attention or maybe more precisely, care. Usually, that translates into random bratting, displays of temper or just bad attitude. That could happen if there hasn't been maintenance, or just not the right amount of it.

That last one is the big one. Because once the DD lifestyle is in full swing, it can come full circle and that might be a sign that the bottom is attempting to do what they did in the first place... They may be looking for the reset button.

Not that the bottom is challenging the Top's authority but challenging them to do what they did at the beginning and again take control. That's often considered a form of Topping from the bottom, and it's not what we really want to do.

When this happens the Top must use communication to make sure that trust is still there, questioning the bottom to make sure this is still what they really want. Confirming expectation, finding out if the bottom was expecting more or even less and once that connection is truly confirmed perhaps incorporate and adjust a new or renewed maintenance routine, reviewing it with regularity.

An Inconvenient Truth - Global Ass Warming

There seems to be something of a common thread that ties those who practice a form of Domestic Discipline together, and it doesn’t seem to matter if that DD relationship is M/F, F/M, F/F or MM.


There will inevitably be times when we are given perhaps a very painful spanking that was not deserved.

Part of the mindset that we accept when we freely give authority to another to hold us accountable for our actions is the acceptance that not only will there be times when we may be spanked unfairly, it may actually happen with a degree of regularity. Sure, after the fact discussion to prevent errors in the future is fine and dandy but the decision that a spanking will happen IMHO should be respected and accepted.

I seem to recall that Scully touched on this subject in the past, in fact I may also have too now that I think about it.

Frankly, if My Fine Lady in a moment of anger or frustration decides that I’m going to be getting a long painful spanking, then later realizes that she made that decision in error there is only one thing that I expect will happen. I WILL get a long painful spanking.

Being a spanker is a tremendous responsibility and there will be errors made, I for one choose to give her the latitude to not be concerned about making errors like that. I would rather have a swollen sore throbing ass than have her put off or ignore spanking me when she believes it's deserved and she knows that.

Now for those of you dear readers who don't like the whole concept of accepting a spanking that is not deserved... Well, you're probably thinking ah gosh darn heck fella... You're a spanko, of course you want to be spanked when you don't deserve it just like you want to be spanked when you DO deserve it.

Well, there might be a level of truth there, but the actual fact is submitting to a punishment spanking for someone like me is an act of love and certainly not one I enjoy especially while it happens. My Fine Lady has gotten to very good at providing VERY painful spankings that do deserve to be feared.

Punishment spankings hurt, a LOT and offer absolutely no pleasure except the forgiveness they bring after being adminsitered.

That's the inconvenient truth.

Not to mention that My Fine Lady being willing to hold me accountable and spank my ass raw with an effective punishment is an incredible act of love and caring. One that she doesn't actually enjoy, but she does it because she loves me. It's not a role she chose except to provide for a void in my life. She knows it's what I want her to do, she knows it's what I need her to do whenever she decides it must be done.

His Boss

In two previous posts I mentioned a woman (Hisboss) who posted a question on the Fetlife F/M Spanking group. Up until the time that her husband made her aware of his secret desire, she was in her own words "very vanilla". 

Ultimately, she agreed to spank her husband over a dozen years ago, and has been doing so since apparenlty with wonderful results. It's clear that she gets it, he does too, perhaps more often than he likes. I might add as in her own words below: "...he got more than he bargained for".

Well, we've exchanged some messages and she has given me permission to tell some more details about what they've experienced.

I think you'll enjoy her story as she related it to me. I've parsed the paragraphs so they'll be easier to read on the blog page format and I've melted in some of her other comments from Fetlife:

I've been a spanker for 13 years now - started back in 1997 when the hubby approached me and asked me for a disciplinary lifestyle where I handed out the discipline and he received it!

He got a lot more than he bargained for...took me a couple of months to get the technique down but I learned fast and found out quickly the benefits of being able to call the shots!

We had already been married 16 years at the time he put the DWC website on the computer. Like I said, I was vanilla to the point of being naïve about all this, and I confess my first reaction was to laugh. I really thought he was joking.

I had NO idea he even had thoughts like this. He never hinted, acted in any way like he wanted to be spanked or controlled, even while playing around sexually. As you can imagine I felt terrible for laughing and brushing it off and decided, “Hey, I love this man. I would at the very least look into it.” So I explored the web….


HOLY cow, the things I saw and read! Nothing that resembled the man I was married to at all.

Funny though, I realized quickly the bottom line in it all – it’s simply a spanking, a red bottom with a little control over his life. I read that, “spanking helped relieve stress”, “would add sexual excitement and enhance a relationship, and be a way to become closer to the one you love.” So what’s wrong with that?


I sat him down and he confessed EVERYTHING…all his thoughts, fears, fantasies sexually and otherwise…

I listened and for a few weeks after that I kept asking him questions while still surfing the web for answers. I found out more about this guy than I ever knew the first 16 years of marriage (and we had a GREAT marriage up to that point as it was). I learned about the “inner” him, the scared little boy who wanted someone to hold his hand once in a while, and to swat his bum when he got out of line.

Then one day I said, “OK, let’s do it…I will give you a spanking.”


We went in the bedroom, pulled his pants and underpants down, and he went over my lap. Now that was a trip for the first time for him and me… remember we were married 16 years and I was taking MY husband over MY lap to spank him! He was so embarrassed and I was scared to death. It was far from memorable and I am sure he was disappointed but I did it!


Afterward we said nothing about it. I guess he figured that was it, nice try thanks for the memory.

I on the other hand decided to write an e-mail to the lady who started the DWC website where it all started … she wrote back and said we needed to talk on the phone. We ended up having several phone conversations and we are friends to this day. She advised me on several nuances of the lifestyle and some tips and tricks…so I decided to “try” it again.


Two weeks after the “first spanking” I came home from work, told him to go to the computer room pants and undies down, and bend over the desk. I had a paddle that he had made “just for me” when he saw I was at least a little interested.

I told him to take a deep breath and I swatted his bum as hard as I could for as long as I thought he could take it.

He was raw afterward and did not say a word during the paddling…he stood up with tears in his eyes but he didn’t cry openly. He walked over hugged me and said, “I Love You” and I knew from that moment on this was going to be our new life.


Been a lot of hurdles since then but overall it has brought us closer than any couple we know – in fact most say we make them sick we are so clingy…lol.


I also discovered after really becoming adept at spanking and control that I could get things I wanted out of the relationship – not just sexually or fulfilling his fantasy life but real changes in the way things were run in the family.

He was overweight, took blood pressure meds, so I started him on an exercise routine with consequences….he lost a ton of weight, brought the blood pressure down, and the doctor took him off the meds.


Now he goes for check-ups to the doc regularly because I make the appointments and tell him when he has one scheduled. He rarely went to the doctor before this arrangement. So, even though it is a sexual turn on, the side benefits of a sore behind are immeasurable!

The power and control are also a HUGE turn on for me. I must have had this in me before because I took to the control thing like a duck to water!

Well for us it has been a very rare occasion where he's gotten to tears...maybe 2 or 3 times in all these years. And what got him there was what you said, curiously - he had done something really wrong, and the combination of the scolding, the spanking, and the fact that he had really let me down was what put him over the edge.


This is an example of where your mindset is almost more important than the pain being applied!


I hope you get to experience that sometime, because the aftereffect (once those endorphins kick in) is really intense, and a great power rush for me as the one who caused it to happen.


I checked out your blog “Her Paddle” this morning, and enjoyed it immensely. I am so flattered you took my question on Fetlife and chose to post it on your blog. Since you asked the question about, “would you do it differently today?” I thought you might like to know the “rest of our story”.


Every Monday morning before work I give him “12 of the best” with a cane just to start the week off right for both of us. I look forward to that and I think he would be disappointed now if I stopped. It has become a lifestyle, not something we think about or talk about, it’s just our way of life.


There are rules and there are consequences, there are paddles hanging indiscreetly on a couple walls, hairbrushes on the counters in the bathrooms. As far as I’m concerned there is nothing to hide and what’s our business is none of anyone else’s, and so far no one that visits has ever asked about any of that.


I tried to find other couples like ourselves but I think this is a very personal/individual lifestyle. Every guy/gal has something they specifically are into and some couples would be uncomfortable with some aspects of our life. On the other hand they might be way over the top from how we live as well.

But with the web we have Fetlife, Spankolife and other sites, and have chatted with many people over the years…it’s wonderful just to have a feeling of camaraderie. This isn’t something you tell your sister or your next-door neighbor after all! In the end, it's just a sore bottom.


Ran a little long, never told that whole story before…not sure I should have told it now but it felt right!

To be honest with you it was your blog that promted me to write it down. I have been meaning to for years now. I showed it to the hubby before I hit send to you and he got all misty...I think he forgot how it all started.

Thanks for making me a part of your blog! And to answer the question on your blog, “would you do it any differently today” my answer would be a resounding, no!


His Boss

Well Hisboss, you are a wonderful woman to follow through for the man that you love, I believe your husband is a VERY lucky man.

Only in 'Frisco

Being a Phillies fan I'm sorry to say that the San Francisco Giants are now the 2010 World Champions of Baseball, but they've earned it.

Before the final game of the NLCS Phillies Manager Charlie Manuel during an interview mentioned that the Giants looked as hungry to win as the Phillies did in 2008. Frankly, I didn't know if it was a compliment for the Giant opponents, or a dig at his own Phillies.

Often sport stars become superstitious and there apparently a unique one with the Giants. Aubrey Huff's teammates apparently have become aware of the fact that he wears a red "rally thong".

Well now, rumor has it that he may very well be "coming out" as it were, showing off his rally thong to the public during the Giant's Victory Parade in San Francisco tomorrow. Frankly, I'm not surprised and I don't know if that's a good thing or not... but I'm just not surprised.

Well, now most people just may very well wonder how he became attached to a "rally Thong", and I'm one of them.

Back at home in Florida, did the wife tell him he had to wear the red thong until they won the World Series or he would get a good dose of the paddle?

Inquiring minds want to know!

 
 

Love Story

In the previous post I mentioned a post on Fetlife by a woman who spanks her husband and has been doing so for quite some time. Now to me the life she describes is a true love story. No, not the running in slow motion through tall grass and jumping in each others embrace. But the sort of love story that many of us spankos can understand.

Imagine if you can, a young (or old) couple and one of them, for argument sake... lets say the man is living with a secret.

The secret (as if you didn’t know) is that he wants to be disciplined by his loving wife. However, of course for the sake of our little love story here, he doesn’t know how to tell her.

Now having been in a very vanilla marriage for 20 years, I have absolutely no difficulty understanding his frustrations.

Certainly, it can be very difficult to express any sort of kinky desire to a partner who hasn’t given any clue showing willingness to partake in the kinky. In my particular case my now x-wife who at first expressed interest in things that might liven up our play, later expressed nothing less than disgust at any aspects of kink. Naturally, although fruitful it was a very depressing existence.

In the case of our heroes mentioned in the previous post, he managed to bring up some information on the internet, in their case apparently it was the DWC website at which point he nervously walked away and left her to digest the information. I imagine he was at the very least frightened to death, not knowing how she would react to finding out that he wanted her to paddle his ass raw.

Those moments waiting to discover acceptance, rejection or disgust must have been almost heart stopping. Ultimately, her acceptance and agreement to follow through and accept the responsibility for the discipline of the man that she loves had to have been a wonderful transition for both of them.

In my particular case my fine lady and I already knew each other to be interested in kink in general and spanking in particular when we met. So, we didn’t have that particular hurdle to cross, although of course there have been others. The good news is every time we encounter a hurdle when we overcome it I simply love her that much more.

Thought food:

If you had to cross that hurdle of a partner who doesn’t know today how would you do it. If you’ve already passed that hurdle, would you do it differently today?

Good Question

It's been a while (don't remember when) since I created the F/M Spanking  group on Fetlife and I really don't pay too much atention to the posts there. Many of the posts are just someone saying something like "Any Female Spankers in Cleveland?" or similar. Well I don't know about female spankers in Cleveland but there sure are a hell of a lot of spankos in Cleveland but that discussion is for another day.

In any event there was a good question posted there yesterday by a woman who spanks her husband and has been doing so for about 13 years. In another post she suggests that he had, and I quote: "...when the hubby approached me and asked me for a disciplinary lifestyle where I handed out the discipline and he received it! He got a lot more than he bargained for...".

Well, sounds likek a lucky fellow, perhaps a reader here.

Here's her question:
Perhaps this has been discussed earlier, I haven’t really read all the posts in the group but I will ask anyway in case it hasn’t.



Being very vanilla when I started this with the hubby, I was always amazed at how he would stay down for the entire spanking. I mean, he is bigger and stronger than I am, and since it is totally consensual, he could get up and walk away at any time…yet he never has. Oh, he begs me to stop, and says he can’t take any more, but I reassure him he can and to take a deep breath and suck it up till it’s over. The first few lickings I gave him I felt bad, almost guilty for hurting him like that…but we became closer than ever after we started this, and I know now that he can take a whole lot.


Are the rest of you guys like that? Is this a “macho” thing or a mind set into total submission to the punishment… a tangible way to atone for a mistake you may have made? Or could it be a masochistic thing? I understand the sexual side of it, but yet at least in our case spankings do get results, in the way of better behavior. I have cured many ills with a wooden paddle or cane over the years.


Anyway…. just curious, thought I’d get your take on it here in the forum – not too many ladies to confide in who live this kind of life.


Hisboss


I don't often respond to posts on the group but this one I did and here's an echo of my response. I think it may fit for many of us.

For me it’s incredibly difficult to stay in place, and there have been times when I have not managed to stay in place. Usually, it’s when I have no idea how much of a spanking is still to come.


Odd as it may be, it may earn me another dozen with a really wicked paddle, cane or even just extra hard full swings with the hairbrush or bath brush. However, when I know what’s left it’s almost easier to take the pain. But actually when that happens I’m more conscious of what’s happening and not getting lost in the spanking.


I want to cry from one of her spankings, but I never have yet. I can’t imagine anything I want more, I want to be a blubbering ball of putty being comforted in her aftercare, but it just hasn’t happened.


Could it be a big boys don’t cry machismo thing? I don’t know but whatever it is I want that wall to fall someday and the sooner the better. .


It may very well take an incredible amount of scolding or even encouragement combined with an incredibly long painful spanking perhaps even multiple spankings to get the wall to fall. I really don’t know, I just want the wall to fall and I think whatever it is, once the wall falls from that point on it will be much easier for her to get me to that place again.

The History of My Implements

Thinking back to a half dozen years ago when the whole spanking interest began to occupy my mind there were a series of purchases that started the entire craze on what was to become nothing less than an implement obsession.

Naturally, the first adult spanking I ever gave was with the oldest and most time-honored implement known to mankind... my hand. The subject of my efforts was a newly acquired girlfriend at the time who shared my interest in exploring "Screw the Roses, Bring Me the Thorns" from cover to cover. (We had several very interesting weekends together before we went our separate ways, it’s an interesting book.)

It really didn't go that well in retrospect, the subject of my effort was startled at the intensity and I too at that first endeavor. After only five hard smacks I decided that the hand was a damn poor spanking implement since it probably hurt much worse than her bottom did. Well, we were having none of it and promptly went for a drive to the local Wally-World to find a suitable replacement implement for my throbbing hand.

We walked to the checkout aisle with what might have appeared to be something of an odd purchase. We had a ping-pong paddle (only one), a hairbrush and a bath brush. That was my first "maybe someone knows" moment as the check out girl's eyes lit up and in fact she had a very peculiar grin during the entire transaction.

So we'll call the ping pong paddle the first specific spanking related purchase as we immediately upon use determined the hairbrush and bath brush were perhaps better suited for their original purpose. That particular determination remains in my brain to this day and matters little to my fine lady who happily uses both with fervor. Over the subsequent years I’ve learned that my hand is very capable of hundred of effective smacks, like with most spanking implements it’s how they are used that makes the big difference.

The ping pong paddle actually seems to offer more scare than actual pain. In weaker moments I've considered using a jigsaw to lessen it's business end down to the size of a hairbrush in an effort to make it more effective but then thankfully I've never actually tried since common sense prevails and I wonder why the hell would I ever want to do that. These days I happen to be very aware of just "who" effective implements will be used on.

The odd thing seems to be that with a few exceptions, the ‘oh shit’ implements usually seem to be the ones that were most recently purchased no matter it be strap, paddle or cane and the ones that have found their way to the bottom of the ‘toy drawer’ lose their intimidation factor.

That particular realization came to mind not that long ago when my fine lady reached deep and brought out what has become a seldom used old leather paddle with holes that I had forgotten about.


The funny thing now is, that particular item is back on the 'oh shit' list and I don’t actually remember it having ever been there before.

Apparently leather softens with use and age, but it’s effectiveness does quite the opposite. Then again, it could just be that my fine lady has learned to use just about any implement effectively...

Oh shit.

 

 

Been a While

It's been a while since I've done any bloging. Actually, there just hasn't been that much unique to blog about. There have a couple of spankings and in fact one of them may very well have been the longest and most intense spanking that I've ever received.

More about that in a minute.

I haven't talked about it here on this blog before, but we both have to deal with a considerable amount of stress just like many couples have to deal with these days. I see the same thing in many others spanking blogers that there are probably many couples just like us out there who are in similar circumstances. Often the stress is related to procreation.

No, it's not that I find procreation and it's accompanying required activity of vaginal penetration to be sometimes stressful. Well, then again perhaps it can be sometimes stressful considering some of the strange contortions that are considered to be "positions".

But actually, it's those other annoying aspects of vaginal penetration that can cause so much stress. More specifically, the tangible result of the vaginal penetration that I participated in a couple of decades ago, AKA: Children.

Sometimes it just seems that there isn’t a day or even a partial day that can go by without some sort of post vaginal penetration related issue and often the issue is related to someone's car.

One’s car might be broken, another’s car is sitting without gas and no money to buy gas to get to work. Another may have a perfectly functional car and no driver’s license because someone forgot to pay a ticket. Funny how those local magistrates just have no sense of humor when someone forgets to pay a ticket.

Then again the most frequent stress generator these days is nothing more than money or more precisely, the lack of money. We have been plagued by a lack of employment. Just like those local magistrates it appears that utilities and landlord appear to also lack generous senses of humor.

Back to spanking.

Considering the above narrative, it’s not hard to imagine that many of our spanking sessions have been related to stress relief. Although I love the sensations that I experience after a stress relief spanking, that doesn’t mean I enjoy the actual spanking itself, not when I’m on the receiving end at least.

Several weeks ago I knew a spanking was coming my way, it was obvious, there are signals and signs.

When my fine lady is contemplating spanking my poor ass there are little signals that start to come my way. You know, those little signals… like when she’s walking past me and takes the opportunity to make a quick slap on my still Levis protected bottom. Those quick little love-taps become more frequent and then ultimately sometime when we happen to have privacy and I hear her in the bedroom rummaging around in the implement drawer I usually begin to get a particularly strong inkling that I just might be getting a spanking in the not too distant future.

Then again probably the most clear sign that a spanking is coming my way is when she walks into whatever room I’m in and motions with her finger and says something like… “Come here NOW!”.

However the most telling sign that I'm going to be getting a spanking is when she's looking straight into my eyes and says something like "drop 'em". Of course at that moment there's no doubt left and all the wonder is gone... I'm going to be spanked.

So, there I was with my fine lady on the edge of the bed pointing to the direction in which she wanted me positioned, all the while with a raging hard on that would have embarrassed any of those famous marble statues that pass for fine art.

Now you would think that there would be damn few things that come as easily and naturally as placing a rock hard ding-ding between the thighs of my fine lady, but doing so while climbing over her lap always seems to be one of those things that create considerable discomfort long before a hand is raised and violently lowered.

The beginning of a spanking is often almost relaxing for me. Well, relaxing might not be right word but if you’ve been there and most readers likely have, you know what I mean. You may have been anticipating the spanking for hours, or days or even weeks and now that it's going to happen... all of the spanking related erotic thoughts are now going to be fulfilled.

Of course there are split seconds where you wish you spent a little more time positioning your ding-ding and there is also the realization that “oh yeah, I forgot that spankings hurt” but then again there is that little lie that you tell yourself and almost believe “this won’t be that bad”. Well, it’s that last one that really got the best of me this time.

She gave me a warm up with her hand. Warm ups are always too short and these days not as enjoyable as they used to be because by the time she finishes I’m going to be pretty red and already sore, once again convinced that I really don’t like spankings.

Almost all of my spankings have been somewhat predictable in the sense that it’s going to be just so long, and just so painful, but this was somehow different.

My fine lady was doing her typical fine job of adding sting and raw sore to my bottom and I expected by the rotation of implements that there was probably going to be maybe no more than another five of ten more minutes of continued spanking in my future, as you might expect by this point I was wrong.

Suddenly I was ordered up off of her lap, I was actually a bit disappointed since although my bottom was already hot and sore it was certain that it wasn’t going to be one of those spankings that I would still feel tomorrow and certainly not the second day. Somewhat disapointed that after all the build-up in my mind it was over too soon. Funny how we spankos are that way, many of us hate the spanking but love being able to feel it two or more days later. The reality however was that she actually was determined that would not be an issue.

Now from past experience at this point in a spanking I might normally expect being ordered over some pillows for a set with the cane or strap and then we would progress to the wonderful aftercare, that was not to be.

My fine lady got up off of the edge of the bed and then sat at the head of the bed and directed me back in place over her lap. Another aspect of this point in a spanking is that my little fellow has usually lost interest and relaxed himself away for more enjoyable future moments, but this was different.

In the past when she has taken this particular position it’s been for that all too rare erotic spanking, Mr. Happy began to anticipate this hopeful finale and was again standing at full attention. The erotic spanking was not to be, she simply had too much still to do and decided that for my complete discomfort she needed a more comfortable position so she could spank much longer and of course much harder.

Often while being spanked I really don’t have too much of a clue as to what I’m being spanked with unless she has decided to tell me. Usually all I know is that something is either not tollerable or it’s barely tollerable since it’s how she uses it that matters the most. The order of the implements doesn’t really matter but it’s always sure thing that she’ll manage to choose and use the ones that tend to get the most intense reaction from me and this occasion was no different in that respect. I know she had the Jokari, the wicked oak hairbrush paddle, the bath brush, the lexan with holes, the rubber paddle and that awful acrylic paddle from Cane-iac and she was using each and every one of them with a ferocity that I had never experienced before.

With my face buried in the pillow I was doing my best to tolerate what was playing out upon my ass, but it wasn’t working. Every time she changed implements she rubbed in a comforting fashion that told me the spanking was finally over, but it was not.

I’m usually not very vocal while being spanked but she managed to get more noise out of me than she has ever gotten before. The spanking just wasn’t ending and where usually I would anticipate another 15 or 20 smacks and a break, well she wasn’t taking breaks. I began to realize that if she didn’t finally make me cry, the day will come when she does… and that thought alone made me realize just how much I’m in love with this woman.

I didn’t cry although I was closer than I’ve ever been before, I was trembling and almost hyperventilating, it was a tremendous experience and I thanked her and wanted her.

Thank you God for this wonderful woman.