Pain Isn't Always From The Paddle

Tina at Die starke Frau mentioned in a recent post that from her perspective, she didn't care for the concept of cuckolding. Well to each their own and I posted a comment how I didn't see it as really useful from a DD perspective. Basically, I believe once the spanking is over, the humiliation should be over and that may be mutually exclusive when there is a cuckold husband. She made a comment that she may blog about humiliation and I look forward to reading her perspctive on it.

Here's mine, it starts with the text I left on her blog.

The unique form of DD that we practice (Mutual DD) like all forms of DD, does have an element of humiliation. For example, the whole concept of willingly submitting to a spanking is a humbling act, ergo humiliation.


However, for me the most important part of DD is the aftercare. Where the spanking and any and all of the other things that may have been used that add humiliation, break down walls and barriers and offer the spanker the opportunity to bring things to the surface that must be dealt with. Or, even when the spanking just lets things be talked about, all accomplished not just with the aid of the painful spanking, but also with humiliation.

Once the spanking is over one of the most important jobs of the spanker from my perspective is to rebuild the spankee’s ego, their cared-for position in the relationship and also rejuvenate their persona that the rest of the world sees. The tenderness of aftercare, the forgiveness, the cleaning of the slate so to speak are all items that bring back and reconstruct the spankee.

Without a doubt, the most intense pain that can be administered isn’t from the paddle, nor the strap or the cane. The most intense pain that can be administered to the submissive husband in a DD relationship is certainly humiliation.

Actually, humiliation is possibly the most frequently used tool while a true punishment is administered.

The mere suggestion that he has been something less than the man that he could and should be, can be extremely powerful.

What are some other humiliations? Well, the implement and the position are the most obvious possibilities. However, each disciplinarian learns not just what provides sting to the buttocks but also those things that can sting the brain. After all, it's actually the brain that is spanked, the butt is merely a very effective conduit to the brain.

Some aspects of a spanking are more humiliating than others. Being put in the diaper position or even like I recently posted... being given an enema are just a few of the most obvious aspects of humiliation that can be incorporated in typical DD punishment activities.

Being ordered into the corner can make the tallest man feel small.

Ordered to wear humiliating clothing, which can vary of course from couple to couple. Perhaps for one couple it may be panties on the man. For others, it may be a complete outfit or even just diapers.

Actually, simply being ordered to “Drop ‘em” at her command and the accompanying embarrassment of her seeing Mr. Happy at full staff when he won’t be used for his joyous intended purpose.

Complying with her order and laying across her lap with one’s ass presented for her use can be very humbling at the very least, and for some be the height of humiliation.

Various positions that offer nothing in protection and everything in vulnerability for her use, all of these things help her break down the walls that men typically build to protect their weaker sides from being viewed by the rest of the world.

I’m of the opinion that the most effective female disciplinarians use these and other techniques to knock a man down a notch and perhaps put him in his place. Now the more femdom-ish ladies may use these or other techniques of humiliations to keep her man in a lower and completely dominated place.

However in many households once a man is reduced with these techniques, the woman instead of destroying his foundation actually just knocks down the crooked walls that stood contrary to her needs. The ones that did not suit her desires in her man. Then, with aftercare she sets new lines and then rebuilds him back the man she wants and knows he can be. Giving him forgiveness and setting him and the relationship back to base course.

Basically, as I see it, humiliation stops when the spanking stops. If it doesn't, perhaps the spanking shouldn't have ended so soon.