Blogs and Link Maintenance

I just added a couple of Blogs to my blogrolls, they may have been sitting in the list of blogs that I follow for a while but I don't often check. There are two basic different ways to have blogs appear in a blog roll.

Bonnie at MBS does it both ways, alphabetical and by last post date. On her site the blogs with recent updates appear at the top right side of her blog. Then below that she lists all blogs that she "follows" in alphabetic order.

What I've done here is similar with both blog rolls appearing on the right side of the page. The inner list is for F/M Spanking blogs and the outer is for all blogs that I follow and both are in most recently updated blog at the top. So, if a F/M Blog updated two minutes ago, it will be listed at the top of both columns. It may not be the best way to list them, but it works for me.

What happens with this method is that blogs that haven't been updated for a while drop to the bottom of the list. So, if someone hasn't updated their blog for months or even years the blog will drop to the bottom of the page. Some bloggers drop these older blogs but I usually leave them, it's not like it hurts anything and sometimes they come back to life.

The one problem I have is that since I try to list F/M blogs in the inner column, I sometimes can't tell what is a F/M blog just by the title or recent post snippet when I'm maintaining the blog roll.

So, if you have a F/M oriented blog and I don't have you listed that way please leave a comment and I'll add your blog to the F/M list.

ADD: I initially made this post without any pictures... But I like pictures, especially if they suggest something or tell a story. I've just added this fine picture 'Red' at Consensual Spanking recently posted on his return from vacation. Somehow, it just screams Maintenance, after all, that is the subject of today's post at Her Paddle Central 

Who can be a Dominant?

Well, as I’ve often mentioned here on this blog... I’m more into a real life, perhaps fifty-ish kind of action guy... It’s what appeals to me.

No, we don’t have yellow and black tile in the bathroom. No, we don’t have a Felix the cat clock over the kitchen sink with swaging tail. (wish we did). However, it’s not that I can’t appreciate Goth type activities or that sort of thing… but it’s not the hot, high flame that lights my candle.

One of the spanko places I visit on a regular basis is the Spanking Classics discussion boards. There are a few things that I find welcoming about the site. For one, it’s not dark. Yeah, I don’t like dark. The whole black leather, black lipstick, black implements sort of thing just doesn’t appeal to me.

Being a wannabe real life 50-ish guy carries the basic fact that is that real life happens in broad daylight. Often, without warning, staging or advance notice. Well yeah, warning or advance notice can be exciting. Especially if intermixed on occaision to keep the spankee off-balance. You know, mind games can build intensity.But I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that real life in the kitchen or bedroom trumps the Vampire dungeon.

In fact speaking about ‘dark’… although not a ‘Trek-ie’… I believe that the one reason “Deep Space Nine”, “Enterprise” & “Voyager” failed is because they all tried to use what could be described as “Dark Sets”, almost Goth or BDSM-ish. Great for BDSM (which some of them suggested in some eppisodes) but not great for SciFi and not an element in the original series or “The Next Generation”.


But I digress…

I’ll expound on a response to a post on the Spanking Classics Discussion board.

The Question:

I have been into spanking for as long as I can remember and for years I have longed for a DD relationship. Recently I met a nice 19 year old (I am 29) spanko from my city and we got really close and I ended up spanking her a few times. Despite being really close she felt something wasn't clicking. Later we discovered that she felt that I wasn't as dominant as I appeared online and that my lecturing isn't as effective as when I write to her.


I am not a wimp by any means. I am quite masculine but I am not an alpha male and never will be. I am very protective and caring and she loves it when I hold her and make her feel safe after a spanking. However I really want to try and develop a more dominant side and become better at lecturing. My voice is quite calm and relaxing, which is good if you aren't scolding someone!.

Do you think it is possible to have a DD relationship with a submissive even if I am not typically dominant.


My edited response:

Perhaps the one reason role play doesn't appeal to me at all. I have many aspects of my personality that can come off as being dominant. So if I let my dominant nature remain on the surface, it’s difficult for someone to dominate me. However, when I feel a connection that involves someone who I know loves me, I crave being able to submit.

I don't think Dominance has to come off as an 'A' type, or requires harsh demanding tones. I think the most valuable aspect of scolding/lecturing is… sincerity. Therefor, my opinion can be summed up by saying anyone is is in love can be dominant and sincere if the subject of their potential wrath is someone they love.

Scolding becomes effective when you actually manage to connect with an aspect of behavior that the sub/bottom hasn't considered. For example drinking and driving can easily be scolded for when part of your scolding is to tell the recipient that they are now ordered to take lots of photos/be photographed often so there will something for their children to remember them with.

The same sort of comment can be used with failing to take care of one's health, take prescribed meds, exercise etc. But most important to generate the dynamic that you are striving for, it's important to actually project your disappointment, your care and your refusal to let the subject get away with it without your intervention.

So my advice for the dominant:

When you are sincere, don't drone on in a monotone with dialogue that bores and You actually want to speak dialog that lets the subject understand that you do care...

You can get more tears flowing in the corner than the following spanking can ever make.

Also a subject that will not only be a happy spanko with a sore bottom but also one who just may quickly learn to not only crave a sore bottom but actually even the forgiveness that you provide only after a spanking.

Ultimately if you do DD, the disappointment becomes the main source of pain from a spanking. The ass isn’t actually spanked, the brain is what is spanked… The ass is merely a very good and available conduit to the brain. When my mostly submissive lady has good cause to be pissed she has no problem at all knowing what to do about it and there is no doubt at all I’ll soon have a VERY sore ass.

She hasn’t managed to break down my wall and get tears flowing, but long before implement meets skin I crave her forgiveness. Scolding isn’t a major component of spanking for either of us no matter who’s doing the spanking, but there is never any doubt that it can, (when used properly) be very effective and right on target.

 

So, circumstance and not dominant nature create the true dominant in my humble opinion for things that are real life, and not role play.
 
BTW, if you visit Spanking Classics and join there, my ID on that board is 'Bendover'.

More About Movie-Time

In one of the Spanking groups on fetlife that question that pops up every once in a while appeared again last night…


”What makes a really good spanking video”

One of the respondents was servingb, a regular blogger and commenter here. He responded that they had made a video and posted it to SpankingTube. Although I scan his blog on a regular basis, I must have missed his mention of it. He noted that on Spankingtube he was surprised that he had received negative comments. I suppose it’s not really surprising since people too often tend to be rude on the internet. It’s an unfortunate fact that people behave badly on the internet. The net is anonymous (mostly) and people routinely misbehave on the net. Well, lets at least hope whoever was rude to servingb got a good spanking for it. Or worse, no spanking for their bad behaviour!

The following is my response to that thread:

> What surprised me were the negative comments from folks on spanking tube. - @Servingb

It's a fact that the internet lets people be assholes. People constantly act in fashions that they would be too ashamed to act in person.

When it comes to spanking videos, I think a lot of it has to do with someone being able to picture themselves in the video. Also, I believe a level of nostalgia comes in to play

I notice a lot of the crowd that enjoys F/m Spanking has an intrest in some older 'classic' F/m spanking videos that just don't do it for me. I think in that particular case people enjoyed them years ago since that may have been all that was around except older 8mm stuff. Not having had my intrest developed at that time, perhaps I just don't have a basis for those 'classic' videos to appeal to me.

We've thought about doing some videos, but we lack the equipment. Also, one of the things that is an issue is we lack what could best be described as an area that could be devoted to spanking. Let's call it studio space and/or furniture that could staged for a spanking.

When I do watch videos although I' a Switch I usually only enjoy watching F/m Spanking. For me what appeals to me is real spankings... Not faked, no starlets, not contrived reasons for spankings and spankings that look like "Yeah, that's going to hurt in the morning...".

Also, it would appear that being a spanko does not make someone an actor... So, too much dialogue is almost certainly a turnoff for me. Perhaps my masochist side comes out too, I enjoy videos of spankings that would scare the shit out of me to think that they could happen to me.

The more severe or the scarier the implement assortment the better.

For me also what I can find appealing are traditional things that enhance a spanking. Whereas items like a prison strap, barber strop, frat paddle, large Spencer paddles and heavy loopys may offer fear factors, a hairbrush offers nostalgia. Not to mention my affinity for a woman spanker in a cocktail dress and modest heels. To me, those things offer a certainty that the spanking is going to happen, nothing will stop it and by the time it’s over there is going to be one VERY sore ass.

Naturally, I imagine it’s going to be mine.

110,000 Visits - WoW

I began this blog this past June and now it looks like in the next day the number of visitors will top 110,000. That's going by the free sitemeter that's been on the blog since day one.

I never did notice when it toggled over 100k, frankly I'm surprised that so many people do visit the blog and actually it's clear that many must come back again and again.

Clearly, the thought of a man being spanked by his loving wife is a popular one. I know why, and apparently many of you do too.

Today we feature some of my favorite.

I thank all of you who visit this blog, I especially appreciate those of you take the time to leave comments. For we bloggers, sometimes it's the comments that keep us interested in continuing to write about our thoughts and experiences.

Motivation

Well there hasn’t been much spanking at all around the “Her Paddle Household” for quite some time now and I think My Fine Lady is getting the idea that she just might intend to change that. I did help that along.

For quite some time now we’ve both have been under an incredible amount of stress. Not uncommon these days for most couples, ours is centered around our financial dilemma. I’ve been unemployed for far too long and we fight a constant battle with the stack of un-payable bills. At least we haven’t been fighting.

Last night I was rubbing her back and I mumbled in her ear that I needed a good spanking. She asked why… I thought for a second and answered: For all the usual reasons…” She said nothing.

Basically, spanking hasn’t been part of our life for a while now. The biggest problems mentioned above have resulted in a few different conditions that I blame myself for, which naturally build upon themselves. For one, I’ve been lethargic. Additionally, in spite of my having something of a dominant strong personality (except while over her lovely lap) I’ve probably been as close to what I can possibly be on the verge of clinical depression. So in any event my whisper to her may have set things into motion.

When she finally decides that I’m going to get a spanking, she chooses the time for the actual event carefully. It would be unusual for it to happen when I’m expecting it, so it could be days away and I imagine I’m going to be on edge for at least a few days but I’ll be getting more and more hints the closer it gets. Usually there will be a day or three of random slaps to my ass when

I least expect them. Also there will

------------------
Well I didn’t have to wait very long, no she didn’t interrupt my typing. I took a break and was out on the porch having a smoke when she opened the door and I saw the ominous curling finger. I walked in and saw she was holding the sawed off bathbrush and the hated oak hairbrush paddle as I followed her to the bedroom.

We’ve all seen those pictures of those women who lead the way up a staircase or down a hall carrying implements. Right about at this point is when my pride and joy would usually be standing at full attention making it difficult to drop my pants, but not this time… he was hiding. I guess he suspected like I did that this could be bad.

She sat on the edge of the bed and pointed my over her knee. I tried to get as comfortable as possible since I knew I would likely be there for quite some time.

Right from the start she scolded or actually kept asking me questions about why I was getting spanked. She rubbed from the get go for quite a while and the questions weren’t easy… They dug deep and she began to spank with her bare hand. She spanked every square inch of my up-turned ass from the tops of my thighs to above my crack. I couldn’t believe how long her hand spanking lasted and the scolding questions were getting to me.

Apparently she’s been getting very pissed about my basking in self-pity. My self-pity has been centered around my inability to provide for her in a fashion that she deserves. The basic fact is, I’ve been getting pissed about it too. I have very little sympathy for people who bask in self-pity and it actually sickens me to realize it in myself.

My Fine Lady has had a difficult life. From her youth to adulthood she has repetitively been forced to endure some very nasty hardships and subsequently make some very difficult decisions. One decision that was very easy for her was that I was long overdue for a spanking, she rectified that issue.

The hand spanking lasted for at least ten minutes. I’ve never been spanked by bare hand OTK for that long before and I began to zone out from the probing questions, comments and rhythmic spanking.

When she stopped she rubbed for a long time as she continued about all of the things that have been bothering her.

I’m pretty sure it was the sawed off bathbrush that was next used on my ass. She wasn’t spanking very hard with it, but it was enough that my hips were dancing on her knee and she finally had enough of it. “It’s been a long time since you’ve been spanked so I’m being very easy on you. But if you don’t stop bouncing around I’m going to start spanking hard.”

Don’t you hate that? When you have to try and ignore the wicked sting and just lay there?

It was difficult, but I was finally just laying there, again as she continued to scold. Which diverted my brain from the unending sting. She finished up with the wicked oak hairbrush paddle. That little bastard stings like hell. It doesn’t have the thud of the bathbrush but the sting is more intense and concentrated.

All things considered it was probably one of the lightest spankings that I’v ever had but the consistent rhythym and the length of spanking probably had me closer to breaking down and letting tears flow than I think I’ve been in I don’t know how long.

After, she asked how my spanking was. I had no choice, I had to tell her that she’ll have to do it again.

Always New Techniques and Implements

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London Tanners is Back

London Tanners is now back!

According to Ian at London Tanners they will have a US presence starting in January.

From his post on Spanking Classics Forum:

"...begining in January 2011 we will have our customer service office open in the US (Florida)so all North American orders will be shipped from there saving you both waiting time and money."

We have one of Ian's pieces of artwork, appropriately called the Domestic Discipline Strap, I believe it to be the one to the left of the long one in the center of the photo.

I might add it works quite well... too well.

Yahoo Ping Box

Well, I've thought Wdspoone's idea of a Yahoo Messenger Ping Box to be a good idea.
(Although I've never yet manged to seen him online).

So, I've added one here to the blog sidebar.

If you should see me online... chat somtime!

But mention the blog, so I don't think you're a Nigerian banker offering me great wealth and end up adding you to an ignore list :)

Memories and Marks

The Brunch topic at MBS today is a discussion about marks and bruises. I posted my response there and I'll elaborate here a bit.

My comment:

As a spanker, I'm not fond if seeing bruises and marks but I do know that My Fine Lady loves the sensation that can still be felt later. So, it's not my goal to make marks and bruises but more being able to make the sensation last.


As a spankee, I do enjoy being bruised and marked, especially when I can still feel the reminders of the spanking days later. It reminds me of the love My Fine Lady has for me;

It's not her thing, she would much rather just receive spankings, but she spanks me because she knows it's what I want and need. For someone who says she doesn't like giving spankings she certainly has gotten to be VERY good at it though.

Yes, she is VERY good at it. Of course whenever I comment on her abillity she quickly turns it around and says she learned from the best. If that's actually true, I certainly taught her too much.

It's really a funny thing about marks and bruises. It's not that I want pain, well sometimes I think I do, but as I've mentioned before that goes away quickly when My Fine Lady is using an implement.

It's just that when I have a sore ass I never have any trouble remembering that someone loves me, so much so that she's willing to spank my ass raw when it's the right thing to do.

Paddles and Popcorn

The astute reader will notice a new twist on today’s blog post. Yesterday the title of my blog post was Popcorn and Paddles, today just the opposite. Perhaps you're asking yourself why it's been turned around and frankly I don't know.

I toyed with the idea of making today's title Popcorn and Paddles v2.0 but quickly decided it didn't provide enough variety to the reader. I'm really not sure which is better; the one thing I do know is it really doesn't matter...

But I digress...

However, back to the real point of today's post, another review of a spanking movie found at the bottom of the page.

Yesterday I mentioned that the subject of my next review would be the video of the wimpy weenie guy.

Now you might be wondering why I call the guy wimpy and weenie. For all we know he may anything but wimpy and a weenie.


He may very well be a captain of industry or for that matter a high ranking military officer who spends his at work time locked in a mountainside bunker with his finger poised over "the button".
He also could be an airline Captain who routinely defies death while hurtling through space in a pressurized aluminum tube with hundred of sheeple in the back, relaxing after having been freshly irradiated or groped by the TSA.

He could be anyone, except in this video our hero is a quivering ball of jelly as his spouse is extracting some truth from him. There's something special about that, in any event she has made him appear to be wimpy and weenie.

Now here comes the plot, I’ve already mentioned several times I’m not particularly fond of distractions like plots, but this is different.

When there’s a plot naturally there’s acting and it’s a sure thing spankos can’t act worth a damn.

So what’s different here you may be asking yourself…

(Pausing while you ask yourself)





Well what’s different here is that IMHO, it’s real.

We enter the story midstream and it’s obvious that this particular lady is an accomplished spanker. You’ll note that as his butt swings to the right to avoid the hellish stings that are landing on his left cheek, she adeptly moves to and concentrates on the right cheek thereby effectively making his movements actually into the stingy paddle.

This woman has talent.

Unfortunately, I’m afraid My Fine Lady may have either watched this clip, or perhaps even directed it as this too is the sort of thing she’s been known to employ.

Right from the start we can see that this particular woman knows how to control her sore lucky man. The vocal tones are firm and one would not have to understand the English language to know she’s pissed and she’s NOT going to ease up or back off.

I would guess that he may have been looking at interwebs porn or something similar, which apparently she has forbidden. He really doesn’t stand a chance, why would he lie? She’s wearing her badges of rank that unto themselves put the poor lucky fellow in his place.

All you spanko guys out there I’m sure you have already identified the very visible badges of rank that reinforce her authority (Skirt and paddle).

His ass was apparently already well spanked before the part of the video that we see. He’s whimpering and cowering and at points sounds like a naughty little boy who was found with his hand in the cookie jar and is somehow is hoping it will be forgotten.

She’ll have none of it and we can see that when finally does get our subject to confess she lets loose with a fury upon his right cheek so his instinct to move away is foiled.

Like I said, she’s talented.

It’s also damn sure that there going to be a lot more hell to pay since he got out of position and protected his ass with the floor. I’m damn sure there was hell to pay for that too.

Imagine that… a plot.

However, it's very open ended and I believe it leaves a lot of room for imagination. Of the four videos found at the bottom of the page I may actually like this one the best.

On the Likely Real Meter that runs from 1 to 5 I would give this video about a 4.8. How would you rank it?