If one of your inquisitive (nosey) vanilla friends were to discover it’s presence perhaps it could be described as a fine walnut hotplate, but who would use fine walnut for a hotplate. Unbelievable as an item to protect the table or tablecloth from a dish of hot scalloped potatoes, believable as an item to create hot scalloped buns.
We already have a similar item that has fewer and larger holes made of 3/4" oak. The 3/4" oak may be fine for lots of thud, somehow I imagine this 1/2" walnut would not only thud but also leave a wicked sting.
I’m forced to wonder just what sort of warped mind first decided that the mixing of a terrible loopy device with a rattan cane would be a good idea.
Naturally, the answer is the sort of warped mind that understands we spankos.
Actually, I suppose it’s not much of a jump from the traditional rug-beater or pillow fluffer but still…
Actually, I suppose it’s not much of a jump from the traditional rug-beater or pillow fluffer but still…
Oh the humanity.
Last on the short list would have to be what Cane-iac describes as The Black Knight Sr., 3"x24” of floppy wicked stingy polypropylene.
Several years ago I had the opportunity to sample both ends of a similar homemade device that was at the time a rather intimidating 2"x 14" or perhaps 2”x16”. From the receiving end I can say that it left me with memorable sores that lasted at least three days. Why oh why are we drawn to such things I’ll never know, however I will continue to pursue an answer in the interest of science.
While I continue to expound on my pursuit of new spanking implements it's probably about time to distinguish between two concepts as they apply to those of us who partake in This Thing We Do.
Want: I do not want any more paddles, slappers or other items that can be described as instruments of pain. We have far too many now and without question almost all on their own are capable of inflicting very memorable spankings. When used in concert by competent hands there is little doubt that there will be a sore bottom in the house.
Need: We do not need any more paddles, slappers, or other items that can be described as instruments of pain. Need would imply that we currently don't have any of these devices and that certainly wouldn't be true. We should be grateful for what we have... Something like Mom used to say at the dinner table when pointing out that there are those in Third World countries who would be thankful for those disgusting veggies.
In spite of how I describe the above two concepts, I want and need more paddles, slappers or other items that can be described as instruments of pain. Hard as it is to explain, it takes only minutes venturing through the Spanking Blog World to discover that this inexplicable concept, is the thread that binds us all in TTWD.
This post made me laugh out loud. Especially about the 'Want' and 'Need' part.
ReplyDeleteNot only are we still purchasing a few items but I have already made about a half dozen items myself. And There are two boards in the shop ready to be shaped into more.
Yikes! will it ever stop????